It's All Too Much

Everything bears down on my slender shoulders, and it's getting to be too much. Everything that used to be effortless has become effort. Everything. From getting up in the morning, to eating, to putting a fucking smile on my face for my friends. All I want to do is curl up in my warm bed, and just stay there and listen to music and sleep a bunch. It sucks. I have to pretend to be happy, because everyone else thinks they have shit to deal with. I don't want to be a burden. But, seriously... when is anyone going to help me?

Here is a list of shit

-My Dad is dealing with horrible people he is working with, but it's making him take his anger out on us and making me hate him.

-My friend (Philippa) is dealing with guilt, and I'll helping to counsel her. I really want to help her, but it's hard.

-I'm failing Algebra

-My best friend is moving at the end of the year.

-None of my supposed friends (except for Philippa) either notices or cares that something is wrong

-I haven't cried for months

-Shannon is confusing me to no end

-I feel lonely all the time

-I might have an autoimmune disease called Celeac disease

I can't deal. I have tried many methods of dealing with this. I have started to close my feelings up inside me. I haven't cried in months, which is not normal for me. When I feel like crying, my face just goes dead. Nothing happens. Even so, I think I haven't been acting normal. I'm surprised my family hasn't even noticed. Which just makes me sort of hate them. I don't want to hate them. They are my family... but I can't help it. It's mostly my parents. Not so much my siblings. I hate everything.

everything is pointless.

Panic! At The Disco: The Ballad Of Mona Lisa

:O orgasmmmmsssss

Stuck Unwillingly in Middle School

It's not fair. My grade seems to be split in two. There are the people who have given up Middle School thinking and have moved on to High School, like me, and a few of my friends. But, then some others including one of my closest friends, and it's not fair, becuase she is all like "Oh, this year sucks. I want to go back to 8th grade. I loved 8th grade." And I hate that. 8th grade sucks for me. I love her, but she needs to grow up a little

Why Me? Desperate for Answers.

Why Me? Over the years, from the time I was 12, but, the question it is even more important now. Now, if you are a girl reading this, and you go through the same thing I do... please, message me or something, because I feel very alone. Every month (:p Now you know where I'm going) for two days... I get cramps so bad, I can't move, throw up everything in my stomach (even medicine, if I don't take it fast enough) and my legs hurt. I hate it. I feel as though it controls my life. Like today for example. It's my second day, and I had swimming this morning. I got up, and felt ok, and I got ready... then it started to hurt. I took a pill... and waited... and waited. At this point, I was in the locker room at the pool. I couldn't move. It hurt so badly, it took all my will power not to scream. In my head, I beg for someone to shoot me, point blank, so I can end this agony. I had to leave, because I couldn't do practice. I was fine later, because the medicine kicked in, but I felt so angry. I hate that I can't control that. I hate that it dictates my schedule. I HATE it. I just wish I had a magic pill to make it go away. I just want my life back.