I have this new idea for a story. I want to make it a girl from the 50s and about her teenage life. Should I go with it? Here is a snippet from the top of my head.
The dance was amazing. The balloons were everywhere and all different colors. They were playing rock and roll. I love Elvis Presley! "Come on, lets dance!" I say to my friend. We go out on the dance floor. No one has asked to dance with me yet, and I'm betting no one will. I try not to care and let the music sweep me. My green poodle skirt with pink polka dots swirled and twirled as I moved to the music. I dance with my friends laughing and generally having a good time. Then I noticed someone across the room watching me. It was the new boy, and he was looking either at me or my friend Holly. I bet it was Holly. Holly was perfect. She was petite and curvy. She had long curly blond hair and beautiful blue eyes. I wasn't like her at all. In fact I was an almost total opposite I turned to her as said over the music "I think the new boy is staring at you." I giggled. Holly looked and then rolled her eyes at me. "He's looking at you!" She laughed. My eyes got wide in surprise. No boy ever really showed interest in me. With my straight, Audrey Hepburn styled brown hair, my tall, lengthy body, green eyes, and freckles... I wasn't ideal. Yes, I had curves... but that was it. He couldn't be staring at me. I looked again. He really was looking at me! "Golly..." I said under my breath. Holly laughed "Jane..." She said "Of course he is staring at you! You look rocking!" I laughed at the use of the word, and a blush formed on my cheeks. We were still dancing. The music was really good. I decided to be brave. So, with my finger, I motioned the new boy over.
Just me
Monday, October 29, 2012
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Back in the Days
Just now, I was looking in the mirror, trying on cloths, playing music and I couldn't help feeling... sad. I just kept looking and kept thinking "There is nothing special about you... nothing that makes you stand out... except your short hair... and even then.... its nothing special." I tried to block the thought out. I tried with all my might. But, sadly they kept coming back, snaking around my head like a horrible fog. I have always tried to stand out, but am I really all that different from all the girls in my school. I try desperately not be like them, but somehow... I feel like its not working. I feel like I'm starting to become like the people I despise. I keep thinking about my looks. I keep wishing for cool cloths. I keeping wishing to be like the girls I see on TV. I keep silently obsessing about my weight. I look in the mirror and don't like what I see. I don't want to be like this, but somehow it happened. I want to go back to the days where I didn't care what people thought of me. Where I didn't think about cloths, or makeup, or my weight. I want to go back to the days where it was totally fine that I didn't think like everyone else. Where life was easy. I didn't have to worry about looking good or thinking "What if I look bad.... what if I look stupid..." I didn't have any of that when I was young. I was happy with just being me. But, now... I don't think I like what I see anymore. I like whats on the inside, but not the outside. Gah! I hate this. I just want to feel happy. I hate being insecure! But I CAN'T HELP IT! And that is what scares me.
Saturday, October 6, 2012
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