My Life is Complicated

My Life is too complicated. Alsak has lost. He has lost me... because I can't wait anymore. But, there is this other guy... I met him on ISTA, and from the minute I caught him looking at me... I have felt a pull towards him. I really liked him. But he has a girlfriend... so I put the feelings aside. But, then we keep talking, and I find out he likes me too. And now, I love him and he says he loves me too. He makes me laugh and he makes m heart stop just by smiling. He is my perfect devil. And he calls me his sweet angle. I seriously... seriously like him. And I feel like a horrible person saying this but, I wish he and his girlfriend break up so he could be with me. I'm a horrible person! :(

Confused and in need of a Hero

I'm so confused. I like him so much. I had a swim meet in Cobham England on Friday 3rd. We were on a bus for 7 hours. We talked and laughed, and flirted. Then at the swim meet, we kept talking. He helped me out and stuff. When I was finished with my events and his last one didn't happen for a while, we went to sit on some comfy couches and I sat in his arms talking. He asked me if I wan't to go back and I said "Not really, but it's up to you." He just looked at me and said "We can stay for a little while longer." So we did, and then we left. The next day, we had a training, and then we had another 7 hour bus ride back. This is where it gets interesting.

I got kind of sick and he helped me out. Then half way into our journey, we were on the train, and he was lying down and the train jolted and I fell on top of him (with my back on his chest) and he put his arms around me and we stayed there. Then we got up after a little bit, and we just talked with the group. Then when we only had an hour or so left, he was sitting up kind of and I was lying on his chest. On of his arms was across my stomach and holding my hand (waffling!) and his other hand was on my neck/cheek... his fingers playing with the tips of my short hair on the back of my neck. My hand, the one that wasn't holding his, was doing the same thing, my thumb caressing his cheek. We talked and he looked at me so tenderly. He kept trying to make me smile. It worked. He also smiled (mostly with his brilliant eyes, but sometimes with his mouth). I loved it, but then we had to get out, because the bus was at the school.

Then on Monday, he was all cold again. Like nothing had ever happened. Like, I was nothing to him. I'm SO confused. But I know the bus ride happened because, I have witnesses. I didn't make it all up in my head!!! I know I didn't! I just am confused. So, anyone want to give some advice? I would love a hero right now. Preferably male, but all heroes may apply! :) Anyone?

Kate Nash - Nicest Thing

This song is soooo relevant!!!!!!