Moving Testimony

As you may know, I am a strong believer in Christ. Unless Communion is happening that Sunday, after worship, there is time allotted for people who have received a word or an image from God. We call these testimonies. I have gone up myself only twice, but I love listening to them, because sometimes, someone will have an image or something, and when they share, you feel it affect you being. It's a wonderful feeling. Anyway, today something unusual happened. After the worship and testimonies, there is a coffee break and then the sermon. Point is during the sermon, a women walked up and stood waiting for the speaker to finish the sentence. The speaker looked at the woman, smiled kindly and asked "Do you want to say something?" The woman nodded and proceeded to tell us her testimony.

The woman talked about how, a few days ago, she and he husband went to check up on the baby she was carrying. They found out that the baby was not in the womb anymore. it had ruptured her womb and moved to her intestine. The doctor said this may have happened a few days earlier. She had been carrying a liter of blood, that wasn't supposed to be there. So she had emergency surgery. They removed the fetus and the excess blood. She then proceeded to tell us that when she woke up out of the medicine, all she could think of was Jesus. And even though her husband and herself were morning the loss of their baby, she was still thankful that she was alive. She was thankful that god allowed her to stay here on earth. It very well could have been killed.

The story was so moving. It touched my heart, realizing the full kindness of God. Yes, the baby dies, but the woman didn't. God really is always with you. After that, I couldn't concentrate. The only I kept replaying over in my head, was me walking up to the woman and telling her that god really has his arms around her in a tight embrace. I kept thinking this over and over, and I realized that this is a message from God, telling me to go to her and say it. So I did. I was nervous because I had never done that kind of thing before, but I really felt that it was important that I did. The woman was very nice, and I could see in her eyes that it helped her a little, to get confirmation from someone else that God loves her. It was an amazing service today.

Am I a Sucker?

   Gosh, I have some bad luck. One guy who seemed really interesting hasn't talked to me in a while. Even though I know he has been on facebook and stuff, because he updates his status all the time. Great... Now, I'm chatting to this really cool guy whom I met on ISTA (NOT SHANNON!) During ISTA I had a small crush on him. He is from Lebanon. He was super sweet to me and really fun and easy to talk too. At the dance on ISTA he found out no boy has ever really asked me to dance, so he walked up to me, garbed my waist, and my hand and dance with me, old fashioned style. It was sweet and funny and cute. We just talked a lot and he made me laugh all the time. At the airport when we had to wait to for the flight and so did he. We talked and hung out with the two groups. When it was time to part way, I wanted to kiss him, but I thought he thought of me as a little kid. We talked on skype and facebook for a while and then fell out of touch.
A few weeks ago, we got talking again. And yesterday, it started getting intimate. I think I'm developing a small crush on him. He told me, that he finds me really cute and attractive. It also turns out that at the airport those many months ago, he also wanted to kiss me when we said goodbye but he was too shy. I find out that he doesn't think of me as a little kid at all. 


     Am I a sucker for boys who say sweet things to me? Am I just setting myself up for another heartache? Or is something real happening and I'm just being paranoid. I don't feel worth it. I don't feel pretty. I always tell myself that I am, so I don't do anything rash, but, in reality, I feel plain and insignificant. Am I being dumb, imagining everything? I think I'm starting to like him more than I should and I'm scared. Scared of what it might do to me if my nightmares are correct... just scared. What am I to do?